If you are trying to figure out how to make the relationship between your husband and your children better, you have to think about the life your man had when he was growing up. At times, men will move beyond the upbringing that they had, but other times they mimic what they knew, and that will not always be what you think is best for your children. When it comes to men and relationships, you have to let them do as they wish, but you also have to watch out for problems so that you can stop them before they become permanent issues.
This is not to say that men have problems with their children. Most men are great fathers, and those that are struggling are doing their best to make up for what they think they are lacking. Men take more pride in fatherhood than you may think, but they do not know how to ask you what you think or to talk about what they think they are doing wrong. They just do the best they can and hope you can fix anything that goes wrong. If your husband talks with you about how he feels about being a father, consider yourself lucky. Most men will not utter a word on the subject without prodding from others. They think men and relationships are personal and that is all there is to that.
The entire subject of men and relationships with children is a touchy one. Those that grew up with a distant father may also find that they are this way with their own kids, but only because they do not know how to change how they are acting. This is normal and is not something a man should be ashamed of doing as long as he aims to fix it. They do not know how to be closer so they can not do it. It is never that they do not wish to be. Lead by example and encourage your children to show Dad affection and that may just help him over the hump.
When thinking of men and relationships with children before you get married, remember that there is no real way you can tell how a man is going to be with his own children. There are some things you can watch to get an idea, but each man is his own man, and he will do what he thinks best. You can see how his relationship with his dad goes, and also how he is around children and animals, but remember that he may surprise you. Even if is seems he is not close to his dad and cares little for children, he may be so involved and in love with his children that you are moved to tears.
If for some reason things are bad in your home, you have a few choices. One would be to talk to your husband about men and relationships with children and what you feel is going wrong. You could also seek family counseling, but if your husband does not want to talk to you about it at all, you may not have much luck in getting him to talk to a stranger that he has to pay. Sometimes, it can be hard to see where a man is coming from, but at times that can be a bad place. If so, do what you have to protect your children and remember that not all relationships are worth saving.